It has been a long time. In the past two years I have...
- Gotten pregnant
- Gotten laid off from the start-up that was driving me crazy
- Had a miscarriage
- Had a spiritual moment in a church in the Dominican Republic
- Had my gall bladder removed
- Gotten pregnant again
- Started contract work for the start-up that laid me off
- Had a healthy baby boy on Christmas Day 2008 (nearly a month early)
- Finally become me again
- Started my own online marketing company
- Decided to start writing again
I'm back. No pressure on myself. I just like to write so I'm going to do so.
Do you have a pet? What kind of pet do you own, and why did you choose it?
Submitted by Brendz.
I don't like dogs. I have three. Before I met my husband, Matt, he bought a dog, Maximus. Maximus dug in the yard too much. He was a lonely puppy. So, my husband bought him a friend, Turkish. Maximus stopped digging in the yard becuase he was happy. But, Turkish digs because he is a Beagle.
A year later, Matt and I moved in together and decided to buy a kitten. Unfortunately, Matt is allergic to cats. So, we decided on a small dog. The small dog hated Maximus and Turkish. So, we gave her to my mother and got Trinity, who grew to 70 pounds.
So, now we have Matt's dog, Maximus; Maximus' dog Turkish; and my cat, Trinity.
So, um, if you've ever wanted to bathe in noodles, now you can...
So, I didn't know that you could bury a word. But, congrats to the NAACP for trying. The NAACP had a march or protest or something to put the n-word to rest once and for all. It would have been great if more people knew about it so that it could have a greater impact. But, I've got to wonder if this will work. You can't grab everyone's brains and kill off a word. It's not like sentencing a person to death. It still exists.
The more I think about it, the more I think this was a waste of time. Great that they want to stop using the word. It's certainly better than "reclaiming" it. But, it would really be better to just let the word fizzle out instead of bringing so much attention to it. We all know it's bad at this point. Just move on and stop saying it.
Why do you live where you live?
Submitted by memtony.
I live in Loudoun County, VA, the illustration of the word "sprawl." It's not at all where I thought I'd end up. When I lived in my trendy Capitol Hill townhouse with three other girls, I met a great guy who lived in the VA suburbs. Then, I got a great job at an environmental non-profit out that way. Fast forward a few months of shlepping back and forth. I moved in. We've lived "happily ever after" in our Stepford community. (Of course, the job thing is another story.)
Sometimes I wonder who I am. I had it all figured out by the end of college. I was a Nickie. The people who knew me the best thought I was weird, dependable, and free. I just thought I was finally sane. That’s all I truly cared about. Sanity and friendship and love.
Then I left school and joined the real world. I started to value myself based on my job performance. And, that’s odd seeing that I wasn’t a great student in college. I didn’t give a rat’s ass then about my “job.” What happened? I didn’t really care if my professors approved of me. Well, I cared about theater. And, so I threw myself into it. I was good at theater and loved the applause that my shows got. I started to crave approval.
Well, actually, I went back to craving approval. Because, I’d cared all my life what people thought until college. And, I started caring again when I got back into theater. After theater, I was really good at marketing and now online marketing. And, that’s the basis of my self-worth. Online marketing. A field that completely changes every 3-6 months. Marketing. A field based on promoting things and companies regardless of their usefulness. This is the basis of my self-worth?
Now, I am trying to figure out my life by trying to figure out if I should stay in my job. Who gives a shit? That’s really what it comes down to. I need to value myself more than anything else. I need to stop defining myself by my job. Sanity, friendship, and love are still my highest priorities. And, yet I’ve let work push its way into the core of my being. I have to stop.
Perhaps if I can do that, I can allow myself to be happy. Perhaps I can just allow myself to be me again. I know that that’s what I miss from college. It’s not the partying or the classes or even the relative freedom from responsibility. I miss knowing who I am. I miss looking in the mirror and being at peace. I miss me.
It's been three months since I've been on Vox. This whole time has been spent working really hard and completely losing myself. I realized that I've stopped reading the books that made me happy; I don't go to happy hours anymore; I barely respond to personal email; and I write very little unless it's directly related to online marketing.
Now, it's back to Nickie. Hooray, me! This is my public pledge to stop working so damned hard and be myself again. I'm going to write and drink more (great combination) and get involved with a lot more of the kind of debauchery that I used to get into. Everyone should join in!
Random times, random times. I found myself in San Diego over the weekend at a conference at Paradise Point Resort. There was also a radio executives' conference at there. And, Joss Stone happened to be singing live. It was a small, intimate location outside by the water. We were within a stone's throw of her. Joss Stone was absolutely amazing. She has such depth and vitality. I thought that would be the highlight of the weekend.
Then, we went to the bathroom after her set. Washing our hands and Joss Stone walks in with no shoes on. Holy shit! What a wonderful person. She didn't even flip out when others followed her into the bathroom. Poor thing can't even pee in peace. But, we took pictures, too...
It's Not About You
Sometimes it's not about you
I can sit and cry
Or wake up screaming
Or just need to get away from the
The tv the dogs the how-was-your-day
And it's not about you
Sometimes I can open my eyes
And want to close them forever
And hear the waves crash against the brick
No more snow or cars or deadlines
And stars replace the fluorescent lights
It's not about you
Sometimes I can hate it all
Even when it's textbook right
And the promotions the sex the money
And even the marriage are going
Exactly as I've always wanted
And although it's not about you
It's you holding my crazies together
It's you I turn to
It's you I count on
It's all about you
